Scott Wilder - ish

Kathie will tell you that I spend way too much time staring at the
whiteboard and my spread sheets. At this point we're to the place
where there's not a whole lot more we car actively do to "make things
happen".

I'm working the extra jobs. The money comes in. The money goes out.
Easy-peasy Japanesey (Extra points if you know the reference)

Amazingly, little things keep coming along that make things better.

The latest example: I have a health spending account as part of my
church benefits package. The max I can contribute to that HSA is $5900
per year. Through a bizarre set of circumstances we've essentially
contributed the max for the year. SO\o by turning off the
contributions for the remainder of the year; we get EXTRA MONEY to
throw at the debt snowball!

What that means in practical terms is that the last monthly credit
card payment that I've been nervous about is now easily in the budget
for the next three months and the only $$$ I HAVE to bring in to keep
the boat floating is $250 for groceries. Anything I bring in over and
above goes right to the debt snowball

I've got to say that these little financial wins don't make sense to
me. It's because when I look at the white board; I see what we owe and
I don't see the total series of dominoes that fall every time a debt
gets eliminated.

Now I would never say that this war on debt has been easy. Everyone I
know makes comments that I look tired all the time. That's because I
am. Three jobs take a toll and I work hard. But I would never have
anticipated how all the pieces would fall in line. A little over a
month ago; the word I would have used to describe our household
finances would be "chaos". Now there's a very nice logic and order to
everything.

Logic and Order. Sound suspiciously close to "Peace".

And that makes perfect sense.

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So after about a month after deciding to get on Dave Ramsey's Total
Money Makeover Plan; we can say definitively that we're making
progress.

 To recap, We have over $180,000 in debt. We were going $700 further
into debt every month due to a pay cut when I lost my old job.

 We were in a situation Ramsey would call a log jam. We couldn't make
any progress on the debt because expenses far exceeded income.

 So we did a few important things to get the logs moving again. I went
out and got two part time jobs to supplement our income and Kathie
cashed in some old stocks she had.

 Cashing out the stocks allowed us to put $1,000 in the bank for
emergencies, pay off the minivan ($3,000) and pay off a few small
debts we had while even yielding a bit of a surplus that we could
apply to our debt snowball. The bad news is that our hot water heater
has sprung a leak so that surplus is now buying us a replacement. I am
not happy about it. But at least we aren't going into more debt to fix
it!!!

 Based on a little math, it looks like the two part time jobs will be
sufficient to cover the monthly minimums on our debt and then some so
we can start paying it down and getting debt free. We're already to
the point where my full time job will pay all our credit card minimums
except one. So my part time jobs need to bring in enough to buy
groceries and pay the minimum on our credit card with the largest
debt. Everything they bring in over and above that will go straight to
the debt snowball.

 The first few months of Ramsey's Total Money Makeover is where a lot
happens in short order. Our white board has been getting whiter by the
week. The trick will be to keep up the motivation when we get to the
big debts that are going to take much more time to pay off.

 Well that's it for tonight. Will keep you posted as we go along.

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So let's drill down a little more on the last post.

 I was so excited to make the announcement that I didn't really go deep
into the details.

 When we lived near Chicago, Kathie had a job that offered stock to
their employees.

 So Kathie went ahead and got some.

 So it sat there and through these turbulent times and as a result
hasn't really grown a whole bunch.

 Once we realized how deep in debt we were; I spent a ton of time just
figuring out how we can scrape together cash to get this elephant
moving. I immediately took to first part time job I could find to
supplement my full time job. And I started looking for a 3rd job
(which I have now). We had totally forgotten that we had money in
stocks!!!

 So it was a no brainer decision. Cash out the stock, get the Baby
Emergency Fund fully funded at $1000. Pay off the remaining $2700 left
on our Kia Sedona. And we still had enough left over to pay off a few
very small credit cards.

 The other big win is that paying off the van brings more than $300 per
month back into our budget. Nice!!!

 Of course Murphy continues to rear his head. It looks like our hot
water heater is going to need replacing. Due to the VERY hard water
where we live. We seem to be literally burning through tank-based
water heaters every 4 or 5 years. So now we're investigating tankless
water heaters. Because they don't heat 24/7; most of the hard water in
the system gets flushed out the next time hot water is needed. If the
sediment does build up then a simple visit by a specialist to do a
deep cleaning is all that is required. Still weighing tank v.
tankless. But we need to do something before the small leak becomes a
big one.

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Last time I posted, I told you that I'm a "fixer" by nature. I see a
problem... I fix it. One of the personal issues this brings up for me
is that not only do I go about fixing the problem. But I also tend to
FIXATE on the issue at hand. That's just the way I'm wired. When I
decide to do something, I throw myself into the task whole-heartedly.

 How this manifests itself in this debt war is that I tend to spend
much of my time at home sitting at the desk that's dedicated to
finances and staring at the white board. Where can we squeeze a few
extra dollars from? What's the next due date? Is getting a 3rd job
enough or will I need a 4th? Will it ever end? And while it may just
look like I'm sitting there lost in thought, I'm actually stuck in
this cycle of fixation that robs me of grace and peace.

 Let me try to explain. These days I don't feel much grace. Not grace
from others. People have been wonderful, helpful and supportive. I'm
talking about that self-grace. The ability to look at yourself in the
mirror and know that it's okay to let yourself off the hook for past
wrongs. Instead I look at this mountain of debt and instead of grace,
I feel things like shame, anger, self-loathing and fear. All healthy
if kept in proper perspective. But debilitating if left to grow
unrestricted.

 The peace that the bible talks about is a very abstract thing to me. I
don't know that I've ever been able to abide in that place of utter
peace for more than a few moments at a time. I do know that the more I
pursue peace, the more elusive and unknowable it seems.

 And let me remind you that I have a really blessed life. I have a
wonderful, loving and supportive family (two actually), friends I
wouldn't trade for anything, a reliable income, a roof over my head,
food on the table, lots of neat toys and most importantly a faith that
is continually remaking me.

 So this debt thing. It's not just about the flow of money and the fact
that it's not flowing anywhere useful. It's not even so much that more
of it is flowing out than is flowing in. This debt thing is about
finding our way back to grace and peace. With God, with people and
with myself.

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